So I've decided to write a fake romance novel. It started as a joke and now I'm a little obsessed with it. I'm sure you have some questions. Well, I've reached into your brain and typed them right out in front of you.
How many chapters will it be, James? Are you really going to write the whole thing?
I don't know. If I don't get called to space, then yes.
Is it sexy? Will it punch me in my eyes with a sexy fist?
Am I sexy? Is the moon sexy? Is Teddy Roosevelt sexy? Well, then you've answered your own question. And it'll be a double fist.
Are they really excerpts from larger chapters?
No. They are not. I don't have time to write whole chapters. It's part of my joke. Geez. Get out of here.
So here they are. I'll post more of them as I write them.
THE HEART IS THE LONELIEST DUDE RANCH
Chapter 1 - Vanessa Lonelyheart
Chapter 2 - The Scottish Cowboy of My Heart
Chapter 3 - Lovers Ridge
Chapter 4 - Cow or Never
Chapter 5 - Everybody Get (Hoe)Down
Chapter 6 - Bullocks to You, Sandra!
Chapter 7 - Two Can Play at Solitaire
Chapter 8 - On the Run From Johnny Law
Chapter 9 - The Hot Hills of Desperation