I'm so glad that post 9/11 paranoia has led us to today's circus of idiocy in Boston. ABC was kind enough to latch it's vampiritic self onto the story so please go here and read the story.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2839249
For those of you who don't want to read the whole story, here's a synopsis:
Sometime earlier on Wednesday, January 31st, a suspicious device was reported placed under a bridge in Boston. The police, SWAT, bomb squad, FBI, and Homeland Security came together to assess the threat. It was reported as a "light-box" and taken very seriously as a potential bomb. Nine more were found around the city and the police shut down many highways, even half of the river traffic. The Governor and Mayor and Police Chief all got on the news and assured everyone things were fine. Finally, the devices were discovered to be marketing for "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", a cartoon on Adult Swim that just happens to be awesome. The "bombs" were the equivalent of battery powered Light-Brites of one of the show's characters, Err.
Here's a lovely picture of him.
Boxes like this have been put up in over ten other American cities weeks ago and no other bomb reports have surfaced. Now the officials of Massachusetts and Boston are angry and seeking 500,000 dollars in retribution. Turner Networks is very apologetic and is sorry for the scare.
Yes, people could argue: How could they know? Weren't the necessary precautions taken? And I would answer that I am feeling very safe because we employed the law enforcement agencies in a timely and efficient manner to stop the threat of something very sinister and potentially harmful.
I'm not mad about that. I'm angry because a bunch of bureaucrats embarrassed themselves and now they're seeking righteous retribution for the "frightened people" in Boston. They're calling this a "hoax" and charging the artist in charge of hanging the signs with willful public misconduct. I hope Turner Network laughs in their faces. And those bureaucrats are idiots because all they've done is produced the most amazing marketing for Aqua Teen and it's upcoming movie in March. In the report they are even ANNOUNCING THE UPCOMING MOVIE DATE! The guys at Adult Swim should be patting each other on the back right now. I bet the Adult Swim hits went up tons today and so did the YouTube watching of episodes.
So good job, bureaucrats. Good job being completely out of touch. And to Master Shake, Meatwad, Frylock, Carl and the rest of you guys...Congratu-freakin-lations! Can't wait for the movie.
And let us not forget they threw all the tea into the ocean. i have never forgiven them for that, nor expected much. So this foible seems about on par.
ReplyDeleteSo, ABC has attached its vampiritic self onto this story. Would you go so far as to say its reverse vampiritic self?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if the 'bureaucrats' are as to blame as the major news orgs. Fox News was acting like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were swiftly riding out of Novia Scotia, and a seven-headed beaste with crowned heads was writhing in Chesapeake Bay. The sensationalist coverage sure did wonders to foment the ill-founded fear.
ReplyDeleteAh, home of the bean and the cod...Har Meggido coaxed forth with a box of diodes and exposed wiring.
Yeah, I would agree. Boston can't back down because of the insane media coverage. I was sure ABC News was going to don the sandwich boards of doom. FOX and ABC were really neck and neck in stupidity that day.
ReplyDeleteOne time when I was a child I mistook my own Lite Brite board for a bomb. The Governor of my state almost sued the hell out of Hasbro and Toys R Us for selling it to me. Luckily, the current monster that is FOX news hadn't yet come from the uterus of Hell.
Have you seen THIS?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Darren. Valerie and I laughed our collective butts off.
ReplyDelete