Edie and Pop Ep. 10 - B is for Boston and Baby Saddles

When Edie was only six weeks old, she learned how to text. This is the continuing saga of our communication.

EDIE:  Pop, there's weird brown things around our apartment.  And they aren't mushrooms this time.

POP:  Those are called boxes.  We put stuff we like in them so sweaty ex-Russians can put them in a truck for us and break the things we like.

EDIE:  Ok. I will register this taste as 'box'.  I'm off to lick the mushrooms again. What are the boxes for?

POP:  We're moving.

EDIE:  Cool. Where? To the park?  Because I vote for the park.

POP:  We're moving to Boston.  It's farther than the park.

EDIE: So it's by the library?  That's great.  I love that place.  The librarians are all nice and smell like gouda. And you know how I love gouda.

POP:  Do you remember when we took those plane rides to California and Michigan?

EDIE: What? We're going on a plane?  I hate those.

POP:  I know.  You adequately demonstrate that every time we fly.  Well, Boston is much farther away than the park or library.

EDIE:  You're taking me away from the PARK?!  You monsters!  I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

POP:  Are you throwing an actual temper tantrum or just a text one?

EDIE:  I couldn't decide.  Also, I'm stuck between two of those box things.  I'm going to lick a hole in this one and sabotage the whole move.

POP:  We can just get a new one.  This is happening.  Wrap your little head around it.

EDIE:  Fine! New plan!  I'm going to hide until you have to stay.

POP:  You get hungry like every two hours.

EDIE:  Rats! Alright.  Leave a bunch of cheese and squeezy fruit packages on the ground and then leave and then I'll hide.

POP:  Hey, I don't want to leave New York either.  Me and your Mom love it here.

EDIE:  What's a New York?

POP:  It's the city we live in. Actually, we live in Brooklyn which is a part of New York which is a city in the state of New York.  Boston is in Massachusetts.

EDIE:  I don't even know what you just wrote there.  How about you just not ruin my life and move us to the park?  I want to live near the Dog Pond.  Dogs are hilarious.

POP:  There will be a new park.  A new library.  A whole new world to lick.

EDIE:  Don't pigeonhole me, Pop!  Licking isn't my only 'thing'.  I'm complicated.  I'm a mystery wrapped in a cuddly blanket.  Which is 50 percent mystery and 50 percent rayon.

POP:  What are you licking right now?

EDIE:  The bed spread.  It tastes like soap and high thread count.

POP:  We might live near Harvard.  You could Good Will Hunting yourself into the school.

EDIE:  Do you ever get tired of saying pop culture crap to me I just don't get?

POP:  Not really.  Do you ever get tired of making me tired?

EDIE:  I do not.  Is there a dog pond in Boston?

POP:  We should just get our own dog.  Then you and me could just make our own dog pond. And by that I mean the bathtub.

EDIE:  I don't think Mom wants a dog.  Which is too bad because I just ordered a little baby saddle.

POP:  Oh my gosh.  The thought of you riding a dog makes me not even mad at you for using my credit card.  And being on the internet.

EDIE:  I want to be a baby jouster.  Boston has that kind of crap, right?

POP:  I'm sure. Boston is mega weird.  Your Mom's getting out of the shower.  Let's both look wistful while we stare at pictures of dogs.

EDIE:  I'll get some tears going. She's a sucker for my weepy peepers.