For those who don't nerd out completely on books and writing, the AWP Conference is a yearly Lit conference that pulls in writers, teachers, and book nerds galore. I think I heard 8000 people are at the conference this year.
It runs for three days and it's mostly filled with panels on topics ranging from Gender Studies to Finding an Agent to Weird Crap That Is So Specific Two People on The Planet Care About It And They Are Hosting the Panel.
But one of the most interesting and depressing things about this conference is seeing yourself. Over and over. Because this place is full of doppelgangers of you. (If you are a lit nerd.) And you will run into yourself over and over.
This does two things.
1) It confirms that you are in the right place.
2) It makes you feel wholly unoriginal and that you should take up bricklaying.
Which is ridiculous because I would be beaten up in any sort of brickyard when I was instantly recognized as 'NOT A MAN'.
So here's who I saw today. And I'm sorry I don't have pictures because that would have been extra awesome but I'm not smooth or creepy enough to take pictures of strangers. Even if they're pretty much me in tweed.
Versions of Me I Saw:
Gay Duck Walking Me with a Scarf That I Would Kiss a Gay Me For
Serial Murderer Me
Undergrad Deja Vu Me Hardcore Leaning Into a Girl Trying To Convince Her To Makeout With Him Which is Just Real Undergrad Me
Overweight Jolly Me Who Thinks He Can Rock a Vest But Surprise, Buddy, No James Best Looks Good in Vests Ever
Me Speaking About Free Beer Like My Tongue is Dying From Lack Of
Know-It-All Me Which Already Exists, Position Filled, Doppeljerk!
Smoking Outside the Conference and Making Me Smell Like Crap Me
Gay Duck Walking Me Kissing Gay Version of Lou Diamond Phillips Finally Answering the Questions I Had About What I Looked Like Kissing LDP
I met a James once. He might of been a doppleganger. He was all like, "Come to New York! I will get you at the airport and show you how awesome Brooklyn is!" Then he just took us to a Taco Bell in Queens.
ReplyDeleteCrappleganger.
pictures would really help here. you don't give yourself enough credit, you are plenty creepy enough to take pictures of strangers.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I want to see gay duck walking you. I haven't decided whether that means that a doppleganger of you wearing a scarf was being walked by a gay duck using said scarf as a pretty leash, or if it was a gay version of you duck walking with a pretty scarf.
ReplyDelete