I'm going to blog the Olympics this year. Because why the crap not? And I am already, understandably, obsessed with it and I need somewhere to put down some thoughts. I should have started with the Opening Ceremonies but Val covered their awesome/unawesome costumes already. And really, I just wanted to be catty about that.
SPORT REPORT
FENCING
It turns out that the french word for Fencing is 'radical'. Oh, what's that? Don't know French? Me neither. Because I hate the French for not living up to stereotypes for the Opening Ceremonies by wearing turtlenecks and giant berets while smoking huge cigarettes. The Franks are always crapping on my dreams.But back to fencing, it's amazing! For some reason, I've never seen actual fencing. I've only seen Princess Bride sword fighting. Which is mega awesome and I hope Mandy Patinkin is on Team USA. If Cary Elwes is on Team Great Britain, get ready for magic!
Nuts that we didn't win but hey, Italy, turns out you've got a whole cadre of fierce fighting babes. Good job on that. Another reason for me not to fight Italian women. Other reasons: 1) they guard all the pasta 2) Italy surrounds Vatican City, which I'm pretty sure is a sleeping Transformer robot 3) Italian is very intimidating when it's being yelled
So yeah. I love fencing now. And I'm going to watch a whole bunch of it.
IMPORTANT OLYMPIC QUESTION
Which Olympian Would You Fight?
Ok. You have to fight an olympic athlete. Fist fight. Of all the sports, which type of athlete are you least intimidated to fight? And which type of athlete are you most intimidated to fight? (boxing, judo, and taekwondo excluded)I've been sizing them up. For example, I would not fight the gymnasts. But why, James? Aren't they just fancy flippy boys who want to protect their precious fingers? Wrong, Reader. Those dudes are fast. Nimble even. And they have arms as big as my legs.
Now marathon runners? Please. Those are just skeletons with shoes. I'd fight three of them at a time.
