A Poem for this Weather

Three Regrets

I

She was crying inside, in a backroom
and I was blinking on the porch.
The night sky so deep and open,
I wanted to fall away
into lights nameless to me.
Feeling the bench edge rotten and soft
the chap of her stiff lips,
while the wind made the leaves
stir from their dreams.
Her body felt still there,
I swore I could peel my clothes
and find her tattooed like sleeplines.
A satellite blinked at me,
until I blinked faster
enough to make them all the same,
make them all satellites.

II

Didn’t mean to turn away from your first undressing
the stains on your underwear
made me feel like a little boy
not explorer

III

We waited for houses half built,
laughing at our own christening.
You said let’s guess where their bed will be.
You said let’s only do this until we’re bored.
Somewhere in there, I confused that scent
with love or something like it,
enough to stand outside your window
for hours in the slow counting of rain.

I’m still there.