So, some dude shows up at your house, hopefully the guy featured on Darren's page, and says we have to go back in time and kill one band. To you, this scenario seems plausible and fortuitous and you agree to go along. So who do you kill? What band/singer/music artist do you think needs killing?Here are my choices:
Matchbox 20
Bon Jovi
The Eagles
Faith No More
All 4 One
Dashboard Confessional
Rod Stewart
I extend the courtesy of using my Way Back Machine. Who would you kill?
Ha ha. Excellent. I agree with most of your choices, especially the Eagles (to my dad's chagrin).
ReplyDeleteI recently started a ILoveMusic thread that was based on Eagles hatred...you might rike to lead it
I would let Faith No More live. I think they were ahead of their time. But then when their time came, I wasn't interested. But still, Midlife Crisis was and is excellent.
That thread was hysterical. There's nothing that unites people like hatred.
ReplyDeleteThe frickin' Eagles! The fathers of wuss rock. How can you "Take It to the Limit" sitting on stools? Who wants to see a rock concert with guys sitting down? Simon and Garfunkel, Tracy Chapman, cool with me, sit down and play acoustic guitars. I was so mad when they had that big comeback while I was in high school and they were being played on MTV.
Even "The Hotel California". A lot of people try to forgive that song as some gem in a musical crap pile. I hate that song, too.
Faith No More is a hard decision. I have a buddy that loves them more than life and I couldn't stand the preaching. They might be great but I can't disentangle myself from my buddy's god worship.
I would kill Jon-Peter Lewis.
ReplyDeleteI would kill Jon-Peter Lewis
ReplyDeletesomeone hasn't already?
"Oh you know, the classics like the eeagels, steelee dan..." Brother Merrill's response to the question of the bands he enjoys.
ReplyDeleteas for myself...before all, i must throw down Limp Bizkit. after that sacrificial offering to the gods of suck, i would toss Creed and Smash Mouth on the pyre.
And i don't know about you all, but KISS has always made me want to put away my rock and roll implements at an early hour, and get to bed by 7:30; followed by a rousting day of math.
Yellowcard, Jimmy Eat World, Blink 182, Nickelback, Vertical Horizion, Billy Ray Cyrus, O-Town, and though the list could go on, i will end with Lenny Kravitz.
And I have always hated the Eagles too.
The Goo Goo Dolls.
ReplyDeletei would kill dexy's midnight runners for that song "come on eileen" thus eliminating all other covers and affiliated stupidness
ReplyDeleteOh man, this is a wonderful list. I agree with all these bands.
ReplyDeleteI recently remembered that stupid Tubthumper song. Chumbawumba is on the list!
Oh, and Rush. They will die by my hand.
Everclear
ReplyDeleteStarting Line
Poison
dammit james..dammit
ReplyDeleteRush? Are you insane? You have to be. Kill Geddy Lee's vocal chords, maybe, but spare his bass dexterity, as well as Alex Lifeson's lix, and Neil Peart's rolling oort cloud of drummy-mayhem, oft reffered to as 'drumham'.
Rush? Things like this have to be willfull attempts on your part to anger me. They work every time.
I would go back in time and kill half of Lynrd Skynrd...oh wait, I already did.
No, but I really would strangle Sufjan. I might still. A slow strangulation that he might like to try to parlay into a twee and whimsical little acoustic piece, assuming that he survives.
i knew that Rush comment would make Joe's face flush...i knew it, and though i saw it coming, i just sat back and watched.
ReplyDeleteoh well.
I would like to join Joe in the beating of Soup-Yawn, and add Death Cab for Cutie to the list.
That was a shot in the dark, Joe. I'm glad it worked. I'm actually about ambivalent about Rush.
ReplyDeleteSufjan? I still have a soft spot. Maybe because we share the same home state. And Michigan doesn't have much going for it right now.
Though I would go back and kill ICP and Kid Rock. So my Michigan feelings can't run that deep.
I remembered an offhand Rush comment from you, Joe. Where and when? Escapes me.
I remembered an offhand Rush comment from you, Joe. Where and when? Escapes me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know amigo. But I am lame enough to have gone to the ropes in defense of Rush countless times.
And a thought occured to me last night concerning this time travel, band-killing situation: I think it would be much more profitable to kill bands off at certain points in their careers. For example, how much better off would the world be if the Red Hot Chili Peppers were destroyed right after releasing "Blood Sugar Sex Magik"?
ReplyDeleteOr Lionel Ritchie dies the second he leaves the Commodores...y'all smellin' my plan?
I would definitely kill Jefferson Airplane before they became Starship.
ReplyDeleteor at least post-"We Built This City on Rock n Roll"...you known that is a guilty pleasure
Valerie was incensed that I would even think of killing Starship before "We Built This City". She started singing into my ear very loudly to prove to me how much I like it.
ReplyDeleteShe threatened to reveal my secret love for Bonnie Tyler. There. It's out. Even though I think I put it on my Myspace page already.
Oh, how could I forget my arch-nemesis, Aerosmith? If I never hear "Crazy" again in my life, I would know God is a benevolent God. Good call.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, Country. Sure, I'd keep a lot of the oldies but goodies. But the modern country wave needs to go. I wonder if there's a super Country music festival I destroy them all at. Then the rest I'll hunt down like Darth Vader.
The analogy works only if Country music people were synonymous with Jedi which is blasphemy.
Definitely out with the majority of modern country. But to be completely honest, I have always found Whitney Houston to be the most irritating thing on the radio ever. Lame-o inspirational lyrics coupled with musically uninteresting soft rock ballad-ness? Not so much. I'm surprised no one's mentioned this one yet.
ReplyDeleteI think Whitney needs to live to amuse us all with her crack-fueled hijinks
ReplyDeleteYes, I would have killed her outright but recently she's a great source of comedy.
ReplyDeleteI heard a great quote today in the Village Voice from a transvestite:
"Anna Nicole was our Princess Diana."
I had to share.
I thought Michael Bolton, but then I realized that Office Space would totally suffer.
ReplyDelete"So your name is Bryan Adams?"
Which might not be a bad addition to the body count.
Let Bryan Adams burn in hell for what he has done to the sweet eardrums of mortals!
ReplyDeleteI hate that throat cancer voice.
Yesterday, I was at the gym and I decided I'm going to kill Panic! at the Disco for the 'closing the GD door' song.
Drew Danburry.
ReplyDeleteLove You Long Time.
Die, them.