Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Poma about a Coma

Blink
(for Janek Grzebski who woke up from his coma after 19 years)

What world of choice now.
Gone the walls, the drab komunista goods,
more surprising than to wake up
in your father’s body.

This is not the sun you remember.
You say it has swelled
not like a blind bomb,
but a nearer eye, God sneaking close.

You tell us:
“the world is prettier now”
We can’t swallow that
but you point out where colors weren’t.

6,957 times,
the world spun around your sleep.
Tonight you’ll struggle against your eyes
convinced this is some Brigadoon day.

You feel you are less of a miracle
than your wife’s silent diligence,
moving your wax body every hour.
Two decades of just in case.

Still, you hear the ocean call
to return. The dope of your hibernation
in the marrows and corners of your body.
Light glares away the dark.

You wonder if Lazarus ever regretted,
stole away from the revelers, down to the tomb
to breathe in his graveclothes,
close his eyes, try to go back.

7 comments:

  1. Dude, you are a freak. Quit making me think deep stuff. I'm only supposed to feel that way when I read some "high literature" not when I'm checking someone's blog.

    Great job. Now just turn it into a screenplay and you'll make bank.

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  2. James. Again. This is a great poem. I really like it.
    "More surprising to wake up in your father's body" and "Two decades of just in case"--beautiful.
    Drop "Mr. Van Winkle" and "tried to go back" and you'll be in business.

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  3. Yeah, I hated the "Mr. Van Winkle" part. It's gone.

    As for the "tried to go back" thing, I'm not in love with it, I just don't have anything to replace it yet.

    I'm glad you guys both like it.

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  4. Why replace it? Ending with "and close his eyes" seems strong to me.
    And you're right. I do like it. It's a gorgeous poem.

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  5. Jaren, I think you're right. I'm going to change it. I'm glad I have you as my editor.

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  6. Just spent over an hour weeding in my flower bed and then mowing my back lawn. Figuring I deserved to treat myself, I ended on your blog. I am not the experienced critic that Stubb is, but...
    I read your poem five times and each time I was more enthralled. I really like it. It touches many reservoirs of experience and feelings. And, oh, I really like it.
    Mrs. Norris

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  7. Well, thank you, Mrs. Norris. I'm glad that I'm part of your break time and I'm glad you liked it. I hope my short list of books helps in whatever you're looking to read.

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I like comments. They make me less dead inside.