Oregon Trail: The Computer Game -- Journals Part 1

Ok, I need to explain this. Many of us have played Oregon Trail in our youth. It's totally iconic. But recently I've been thinking about how funny the game would be from inside of it. As a journal from the leader in the group. So I've decided to use all the classic elements of the game as played by elementary kids: juvenile bathroom related names for the characters, seeing how easily you can kill people crossing the rivers, and hunting endlessly. Oh, and the humor of dying of dysentery. So I started writing some journals from the main character's perspective (with slightly updated language). Hope you like them.


Oregon Trail: The Computer Game
A Journal

March 1, 1848

I’ve arrived in Independence, Missouri. The great jumping off place for Western Expansion. My family will meet me here in a few days while I procure a wagon for our great move out west. I’m a banker from Boston and I’ve decided to seek my fortune in the untamed wilderness known as “Oregon”.
People ask why I, a Banker, a person with no experience in farm labor or prospecting or anything requiring muscles, would make this journey. I say ‘Fate’. I feel greatness in my bones. That I am an important cog in the machine known as Manifest Destiny. My trek will be a great stone knife carving my name in the Plains and Rockies. Right next to Lewis and Clark, Sacajawea, Daniel Boone and Davy Crocket. I’ll live on probably in history books, maybe a river or settlement, maybe a marble monument. Yes, people will remember Mr. Turds.


March 3, 1848

A beauteous day! The whole town is abuzz with wanderlust and talk of the West. Where gold runs in the rivers and land just aches to be tilled. They say it’s a virgin wilderness out there with places no man has ever seen. Well, except for red men.
Luckily, my family made it, health and money intact. All children accounted for (minus the stillborns, of course). My wife, Chesty, and I have been discussing our best options for getting out west. I managed to scrape together 1600 dollars for our journey and we’ve been informed by a real gentle fellow named Matt what we need for the trip.
He’s given us a very accurate map. It’s white where land is, and blue where the ocean is. It even has part of Lake Superior on it which will be important in case we get lost and go straight north instead. There’s some upside down V’s that represent mountains and there’s also some blue lines that indicate rivers. There’s some landmarks we might interested in, he’s marked those. Forts, those will be fun, I keep telling Chesty. He’s written START around where he believes Independence to be and FINISH somewhere in Oregon. There’s no trail on it but I think it will be very helpful.
Too much for today. My family and I are going to sleep in our wagon tonight to get the feel of “roughing it.” Tomorrow, we’re going shopping!