I've been working on some new writing but I've also been delving into my notebooks for things I may have passed. Some of these are just fragments that I'm going to post but some of these are just short fun poems I wrote on the subway or in a park or library. Here's my first one, in the voice of some lady I created in my head.Underneath It All
“I’m telling you,
there is a lake underneath this cemetery,
a place we’ll all go someday.
See, when they bury the kinfolk,
dig a standing man down into the ground,
they living, they can’t say it to themselves.
Can’t bring their minds to bend to it.
They must believe the earth is solid all the way through,
they’d never want to know they’re skating on a thin shelf.
Because as soon as their loved ones are covered,
their bodies sink like blueberries in the batter,
down and through to the underwaters where
it’s all a big day at sea.
They open their lids like cabin doors
and wave and holler at all their old lost friends.
Then they tear out the bedding and hang them like sails.
I’d like one of them to know I believe it.
Maybe they’d let me tend their lighthouse.”
First of all, I must say that you're an excellent writer. No, really, I mean it. Your writing always evokes some sort of emotion as it paints a wonderful (or sometimes terrifying) painting in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI specifically love the ending of this poem. It helps one view death as less of an unknown. It's almost light-hearted in a surreal way. The picture in my head that comes from reading this poem reminds me of that movie, "What Dreams May Come."
I have to agree with the other comment. Most of your poems bring out a kind of wistful dark and meaningful emotion. I don't comment often because I can't give a real critique, but I can say that your poems make me feel something. This one did, especially in the middle.
ReplyDeleteI think you should write lyrics for faux-emo bands. Seriously, you would bring them to a new level of emotionality.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in some other interpretation of death, some alternative to what I believe. Not because I don't want to believe what I believe but because I think it's comforting to picture the dead out "doing" as I'm sure they are.
Mike,
Thanks, dude. And I've been trying to hook up with some emo bands but I don't have enough hair in my eyes right now.
I really like the line "like blueberries into the batter." The simile reminds me of Anne Sexton, whose poetry I've been trying to emulate lately. She has a collection of re-told fairy tales called "Transformations," which I love and am hereby recommending, if you haven't already read it. Her similes are bizarre and fantastic.
ReplyDelete