So Andy Donkin is taking a test tomorrow to finish his CPA (which I believe stands for Counting Person Associate), and I mentioned to Valerie that maybe a pal of his at his accounting firm might slip him a cheat sheet with all the numbers he needs to know. And Valerie said, "James, I don't believe you know what Andy does."
Of course I do. Here's a typical day for Andy: Accountant. He rides to work in regular clothes but when he gets to work he changes into Old Timey Accounting Gear which consists of Green Visor, Vest, Ear Pencil and Elbow Garters. When he's not licking his pencil and writing numbers into Ledgers, he's pulling away at the Lever on his Adding Maching which makes the Paper Roll spit out with Important Numbers.
Sometimes his Boss comes up to him and says, "Donkin!" and Andy says, "Boss!" and Boss says, "I need ya to balance this checkbook!" So Andy gets out a Scale and puts the checkbook on one side and an equal amount of paper money on the other. When he gets it balanced, Andy cries out, "Eureka!" and all his Fellows, he always calls them Fellows, pat him vigorously on the back.
At Lunch Time, which is on the Company's Dime, Andy tells his Fellows jokes about Numbers. Like a real inappropriate one he heard about "7". Everyone loves that one.
The rest of the day is full of Lever Pulls, Balancing, and listening to the Wireless while his Fellows coat the ceiling in Cigarette Smoke. There's some talk of Dames but Andy is married and he tries to steer the talk back to Numbers or his Beard.
At the end of the day, Andy goes with the boys to Happy Hour where he has a Ginger Ale and tells a new kneeslapper about "12".
It kills.
this is too good.
ReplyDeleteAndy, I disagree. I was always under the impression that 9 was the slutty one and 7 was the responsible one. Then again, what do I know about being a Counting Person Associate!
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