I've been kind of stuck for a while in my writing. (This picture is a really clever metaphor of me staying on a base or moving on. I know. I know. I'm brilliant. And I'm playing kickball.) Mostly I've been reevaluating. Lots of questions have come to my mind.
"Why do I write depressing crap?"
"Why am I so obsessed with comedy in my other writing and I'm so obsessed with tragedy in my poetry?"
"Why do I want bum people out?"
"Why have I never written a poem with the word curmudgeon in it?"
I've come to a realization that there's things I'm obsessed with and I can't stop writing about them. There's plenty of good writers who say focused on the same material their whole lives. Mark Twain, Proust, Sharon Olds, F. Scott Fitzgerald, etc. So now that I'm back writing about the same old stuff, the words are flowing again. Weird? Probably not. So I present another poem and more to come. I'm going to commit to posting poems again because it keeps me responsible when I'm not in a workshop. Here's the only problem with posting creative work and not bloggy opinions.
The most obvious options for commenting are thus:
1. Something positive.
These comments are appreciated always. I will never discourage these. What artist doesn't need their ego stroked? But...it's like a talk at church. You can't walk up to someone and say, "I really didn't enjoy it. I thought the first part was a little weak and then it picked up for a while but it just felt muddled through the rest." So it's hard to say much more than "Good Poem". And you also feel pressured to do so.
2. Not commenting.
This is the easier option because it's hard to comment on anything but the experience. And who wants to analyze a poem, (especially a first draft) as a blog comment? Not me. That's who. But then who likes people to just lurk on their blog? Aaron, I'm looking at you.
So no one should feel pressured to do anything. It's just poetry. Only me and few thousand other people in the world care about it.
James,
ReplyDeleteI think it is cool that you write about things that you feel come naturally. I think that there is a reason that you are drawn to comedy sometimes and tragedy other times. I am not a writer but I feel that my attitude and my interests seem to be pulled in conflicting directions. I like your poetry. I have had several conversations with Mark B. about poetry and you know he writes some pretty dark stuff too. I look forward to checking out some of your stuff as you post new ideas. Rock on.
Way to call Aaron Allen out. I've been waiting for someone to do that for years.
ReplyDeleteAaron, watch out.
And trust me, James, I'll give really constructive comments on all your poetry.
Just out of curiosity, would you know what to address if I told you a line "blew"?
i am going to start reading your posts to jack and then comment with his responses. this way, you never know what your going to get--it could be constructive or it could be "I love stickers."
ReplyDeletep.s. does "NO!!!!" count as constuctive?
So maybe a few thousand people care about poetry but how many people care about YOUR poetry? How about your brothers? Do they care?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you write about depressing stuff because you don't know how to have fun that isn't pretentious. To shake up your routine: Penelope recommends putting headphones(earbuds) in your mouth or a phone antenna in your nose. This does not have to be done simultaneously.
Eva recommends climbing onto a pile of clothes(clean or dirty--your preference) and then covering yourself with more clothes. She also suggests running around the house in winter gear such as hats, mittens and snowpants. Feel free to mix and match. For a good time, give a high five.
Mike and I abstain from fun, so bring on the no-comment-necessary parade of depressing poetry.
This post reminds me of what I'm facing with my own blossoming artist and something Richard Briggs (art dept. faculty) told me this past week. Emma has become quite accomplished, and I'm trying to find the gentlest way to urge her forward without becoming the overbearing mother. Her biggest issue is that even though she's good and she knows she's good, she's also terribly freaked out by criticism and by what others are going to think of what she generally draws/sculpts. It leaves her paralyzed to even pick up a pencil, which in turn stunts her creative growth. So Briggs tells me that because the creative nature pairs up with the sensitive disposition highly gifted artists are often their own worst enemy. And he tells me that my goal should be to let her be in charge of which contests she enters, if at all, and to just be the positive sounding board she needs when she's ripping into herself for not being Da Vinci, or at least not winning first place every time.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, long story short, I totally dig your work. And I'm all for nurturing whatever artist or writer is needing the reassurance. This is my twisted form of the highest possible compliment: Your darkest poems actually give me a fixed reference for some of my demons I'm afraid to face on my own, and when I read them the gigantic reality of broken homes and abusive husbands/fathers that I frequently repress seems within my ability to take on. It's good to digest that sense of not being alone. So glad you're going to tackle it again.
James, I have always been a lurker on your blog. I definitely lurk. I keep thinking I need to purchase some kind of black cape with a menacing shadowy hat like those creepy Neighborhood Watch signs. Maybe I'll comment more this time around. I enjoy your blog because sometimes I get nostalgic and somber and thoughtful and the rest of the time I laugh out loud in realtime. Appropriately, I mean. I laugh at the funny stuff and cry at the sad stuff....not the other way around. I hope. Keep posting the poetry.
ReplyDelete--another of the few thousand
Good Entry...
ReplyDeleteSo many people commented on this and I never responded. Because I'm a jerk.
ReplyDeleteBen,
Whichever Ben you are. I think I know. Mark Bennion's one of my heroes and I had a crazy experience where we exchanged poetry not too long ago and it freaked me out a little bit. His stuff just struck me as so much better than my own and it seemed absurd that he would even consider me as an equal.
Thanks for the encouragement. Rock on indeed.
Candace,
ReplyDeleteLet's not talk about who cares about my poetry. If my first book sells a hundred copies, I'll be satisfied. If I sold a thousand, I might go into a coma. I love the image of Eva burying herself in laundry. I'm going to steal it for an image in a poem.
Bonnie,
Thanks for always encouraging all my dark material. Maybe my readership will be full of screwed up people like us? There's a market there I think.
Well, I hope you can keep exploring those things in your own writing.
Gillz,
ReplyDeleteI'm such a fan of your prose, it feels good to have that affection returned. I'm glad that my writing has an emotional response for you. I try to be true to emotions even if they're deemed ugly. I heard Jonathan Saffron Foer talk about one of the things he wished he kept from being a young writer was the lack of doubt when writing something emotional. I want to keep that as well.