Another Sketch

Christian Busath created this character, Jimmy Ripple, during our days together in Comic Frenzy. Jimmy is an overweight cub scout who has some serious food gorging problems and a great deal of naivete. Christian will be back in New York, rehearsing for his role in the touring company of The 42nd Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and we're going to go perform this at the Upright Citizen's Brigade. One of these days I need to figure out why I like to place innocent characters in the way of discovering large and sometimes awful truth. Here's an excerpt.

Jimmy Ripple Goes Camping

(Scoutmaster Dave comes onstage and pulls out his map.
He looks back towards the way he came. Jimmy Ripple
comes onstage, huffing from overexertion.)

Jimmy
Scoutmaster Dave! Wait for me. I’m here.

Dave
Listen, you gotta keep up on this hike, Timmy, or…

Jimmy
It’s Jimmy, Scoutmaster Dave. Jimmy Ripple. That’s what I call myself cuz that’s what my momma called me.

Dave
Sorry. Jimmy. We’ve got to make the ridge before sundown or else…

Jimmy
My momma died. From the birth. That’s what my grandma said.

Dave
Oh. I’m sorry, Jimmy. When we get to camp, we should talk about it. So, let’s head up this way…

Jimmy
Scoutmaster Dave, what’s a D-Tection?

Dave
What’s detection? You mean like the definition?

Jimmy
My momma had one when I was born. A D-Tection.

Dave
Oh, you mean a C-Section. That’s when there are complications or the baby’s too big so the doctors have to make an incision on the belly to get the baby.

Jimmy
(horrified) They cut my momma?

Dave
No, Jimmy. Well, yeah. But there must have been a reason.

Jimmy
I was super big. I set a world record for babies.

Dave
See? And now you’re a big cub scout, Jimmy.

Jimmy
I was seventeen pounds.

Dave
Holy Hell!

Jimmy
My grandma said I looked like a bowling bag covered in blood.

Dave
Oh, that’s awful.