Secrets: Why Your Kids Like Me

I like what kids like.  That’s my secret.  That’s why your kid likes me, why I like to hang out with your kids.  Somewhere in my development, my brain stayed kid fascinated with the world.

Par exemple:

Kids like to throw rocks into water.  I like to throw rocks in water.

Kids like to smash smashable things.  I also love to smash.

Kids like to talk about being a superhero.  Me, too. Ad nauseum.

I’m not saying I’m more in touch with anything.  I don’t even know if I believe in “Inner Child” stuff.  I’m just saying that I look at a situation and I want to have the most fun out of it.  I want to make a game out of it.  I want to cut loose and not care what I look like. 

I'm not more kid than anyone else.  I'm not less world weary or cynical.  I just (and maybe everyone does, I don't know) find everyday phenomena to be a little sparkly still. I like catching fireflies and lizards.  I like a little cloudwatching. I get excited by rainstorms at night.  They get me up.  I lie on my pillow and watch the rain in the streetlights until I fall asleep again.

~*~

This is a typical walk for me and Edie. 

*** I carry her for a while, pointing out stuff. “Tree, cloud, ambulance, sign, fence, wheel, leaf, berry, weirdo.” 

*** Then I find a low stonewall for her to balance on.  And I hold her hands and we sing the “Balance Song”.  Which is a song I made up that only has one word: Balance.

*** Then we find sticks and run them along fences.  Or smash leaves or bushes with the sticks.  Sometimes we stop and just peel the bark off the sticks with our nails.  It’s particularly satisfying.

*** If there’s a dog, we stop the person and pet their dog.  We thank the person (Edie says “Thank You”, too) and then we walk away making dog noises to each other.

*** If we find some apples or berries on the ground, we stomp them with our sneakers until they’re good and mashed.

*** When we finally make it to the “greenground” (which is what Edie calls playgrounds) I chase her around the structure and we swing a little and go down slides a little.

*** Sometimes we go looking for ducks and turtles at the lake.  Edie and I quack at the ducks and, this is my favorite, we creep along the lake whispering to each other “Turtles? Where are uuuuuu?”

~*~

I’ve always liked kids.  Maybe it’s being the oldest sibling and taking care of younger kids.  If I had my druthers, I would play a lot more hide and seek.  I would throw kids in the pool all day.  I would find non-tick infested grass fields and do a lot of running with my hands out feeling the tops of the grass.

There’s a lot of danger to kids these days.  And sometimes I feel scared that people find my instinct to play with kids suspicious.  That I’m immediately suspect because it’s a crazy world and kids are more vulnerable than ever.  I understand their fear but it makes me sad.

~*~

I remember the first time I knew kids were in danger by adults was when some creep in a van was hanging out near school bus stops in Grand Rapids.  There was a warning sent around to parents. One time I got there a little early and this other girl who waited with me sometimes was there before me.  I saw the van and a guy get out of it and start walking towards the girl.

I banged on the door next to the stop, this guy who used to watch out for us, and in hindsight, was probably unemployed, his name was Hank or something, and I banged until he came out and saw the van.  And Hank grabbed a baseball bat and chased the guy to the van and beat the hell out of it until the creep pulled away.

I memorized the license plate as he drove away and I rehearsed it all day and forgot to tell it to anyone.  I hope they caught him. Sometimes I worried they didn't because I didn't give anybody the number.

~*~

I wish the world was innocent and safe for Edie.  It’s not.  So I carve out that place.  An eternal place full of dandelions to blow and trains to watch.  A place where Edie laughs so hard she has to cover her mouth because it’s too much joy to let go.  And I do it for both of us, to have a place where we can be children together.